So I have had this blog up for quite a while but haven't really had the time to post anything on it (about 2 years to be more precise). I titled it Depth Perception because as I make this little journey through life I have found that as with depth perception many situations aren't always exactly as they appear while at other times they are. Take what I mentioned initially for example, instead of saying that I haven't posted anything because of my lack of confidence and a common case of performance anxiety I deal with, I used the commonly utilized blanket statement, "I haven't really had the time." I use this one a lot and although there are only 24 hours in a day, I know that I am capable of making time when I need to.
The notion of time perplexes me as it does many people. We waist it, loose it, give it to people, sleep it away, pray for it to last longer, dedicate it to idle thoughts, and the biggest fear that most have is that we will run out of it before we accomplish the necessary or deeply desired. I am currently 24 and have recently been made to feel that my time is making a mad dash out of Viable Singleville into the abyss of Spinsterhood. Now isn't this an all too common female diagnosis? I recently relocated to New York and have discovered a wealth of attractive men on subways, passing through train stations and walking down the street. Although my single existence allows me the pleasure of imagining gathering them all for myself, it also reminds me that out of all of this dense population, I am not sure what it will take to gather one good one? And if in fact I do, what will I do? My friends on the other hand have taken steps towards advancing their gathering tactics. Since we moved out here last year, a couple of my friends have ventured into the .com dating world. When you think about it, it’s not much different from the idealized random meeting and then falling in love spill, but let’s face it, it's akin to people-shopping and mail-ordered brides.
New York is a very different world from San Jose, Ca and due to the vast dependence on public transportation, coupleage [please don't mind my made up words] exists everywhere. The inclination to see all of the hand holding and kissy facing often becomes inevitable. At times existence as a content single turns into a difficult task even when you don't know what you would do with a serious relationship. Among the many, Match.com is a notable e-mail-ordered date site that tops the list. One friend of mine [we'll call her Luna] decided that she no longer wanted to be a single freak of nature. A few months ago she made the decision to offer up some of her limited funds as a fiscal sacrifice to the date gods when she thought the the profile and picture she found was the actualization of the love she painted in her mind; shortly after my roommate friend [we'll call her Nightnelle] followed suite. Although Luna's initial date led to nothing-ever-after she uncharacteristically went on a Match date frenzy which allured her roommate [named Mia for the peservation of actual identity] to the Match.com scene as well. And get this, out of all of the people in this city Nightnelle and Mia had the audacity to find out that they went on a date with the same person at some point.
While I sat back and listened to my friends' funny disappointments [the lame cops; 29 year olds that still live with their mothers; and Dave Chapelle look-a-likes] I wondered if I had missed the memo. Did everyone receive a note with the amount of time allotted to them to find the satisfaction of long lasting romantic companionship? I often wonder how much time I have on my imaginary count down clock to the moment I find a life long something or nothing at all, but I can't bring myself to shop online. I rarely even shop online for stuff after being the victim of eBay thievery. I suppose in a way I am guarding my heart from the same crime. My friends have given up on Match for now with hopes that the old fashioned way of doing things won't fail them. Until then I guess we will wait and hope that our conditions aren't likened to leprosy--ostracization and the beckoning of a much needed miracle. When we go to weddings without our ideal, tall, smart and random plus one, hopefully we won't depend on the alcohol to numb the pain. When Solitary becomes not only a boring game but a boring way of life hopefully we are reminded of Ecclesiastes 3 that implies that there is a time and place for everything. In my ideal, "I really like you" butterflies will fill the time, and the place will be real opposed to virtual. When it comes down to it, I bear in mind that when all appears to be mayhem and hope seems to have eloped with time, a beautiful harmony does still exist in the universe [I feel like some violins should be playing right now or something]. My grandmother was fortunate enough to have found love three times so far...and get this, the most recent time was by way of eHarmony ; )
Often times Time fools us into thinking it possesses Lola-like running abilities, but in reality it's been going at the same pace since it began--so don't neglect the valuable present moments by worrying over the future ones, even if they are remote. [Wow, I need to take my own advice!]
